chair pose can suck a d

I signed up to do a 30 day yoga challenge with some knitting friends of mine. It’s pretty simple – you have to do at least 10 minutes of yoga a day for 30 days. It took me a couple days to find a video that worked for me, but I found one and I’ve been doing it the last couple mornings. It’s fine, except that the last pose in the routine is chair pose.

If you’re not familiar with chair pose, basically the best way to describe it is the 7th level of hell. You stand with your feet close together and stick your ass back like you’re sitting in a chair. A chair that’s NOT there. Everything in your body wants to just…sit down…but there’s nothing to sit on, so you sit-hover and grit your teeth and try to remember to breathe and hope your quads don’t explode in giant swaths of fiery doom before it’s time to stand back up.

This morning, as I was sit-hovering in chair pose, cursing the name of the instructor in the video and basically the entire country of India as well, trying to focus on my breath…suddenly, all I could think was, “chair pose can SUCK A DIIIIIIIIIIIICK!”  At first I laughed, but it wouldn’t go away so I embraced it and started chanting it in my head like a mantra. It actually ended up really helping.

I wonder if I could make Angry Yoga a thing…

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