It started about an hour after I got to work this morning.
Above my head and off to the left, at the junction where the outside wall meets the slant of the roof.
tap
tap
taptap
taptaptaptaptaptaptap…
It wasn’t constant – just an occasional machine-gun like burst of taps. If anything, it was serving to break up the monotony of endless data entry. Plus, I like birds doing bird things, so I was happy for the woodpecker to have found something fun to hammer away at.
The first few times it happened, my boss, who sits in an adjacent office with the door between our spaces open, didn’t say anything. Eventually it got to him though, and he bellowed in to me:
“What the hell is THAT?”
“Pretty sure it’s a woodpecker working on the back corner of the building,” I responded.
He muttered something about stupid birds under his breath and went about his business.
Fast forward to ten minutes ago. The bird let loose with another tapping tirade above my head. I chuckled to myself because he sounded like he was having a good time. Boss came into my office, fixing the ceiling with a glare like he could perhaps intimidate the bird through many layers of wood, sheetrock, roofing, shingles, etc.
“Where IS IT?”
“It’s right out here on the corner somewhere,” I replied, gesturing toward the ceiling.
“Well, we can’t have this,” boss said, and stomped off downstairs. Boss owns the building, hence his vested interested in not having holes randomly drilled into it. Apparently the holes caused from water damage and rot are ok to keep around for years, but ones that birds peck are a no-no. BUT I DIGRESS.
From my desk I could hear Boss scuff out along the side of the building and pass under my window. With impeccable timing, the woodpecker started in again. Boss yelled at it:
“Hey. HEY! Cut it out, you little bastard! Go somewhere else!”
I didn’t actually look down at where he was standing, but having known Boss for nearly 11 years now, I feel relatively safe in suggesting there was arm-waving involved.
The tapping stopped.
“Yeah, YOU”, boss said triumphantly.
And then a magnificent thing happened:
The woodpecker shrieked an angry retort and immediately started hammering away at the side of the building again, with seemingly redoubled effort. There have been no less than four subsequent bursts of tapping since Boss sat back down at his desk.
Every time it starts in again, Boss grumbles and I giggle to myself, silently congratulating the sassy little woodpecker for standing its ground and sticking it to the man.
Or the man’s building, at least.

I peck where I want.